Just A Dream
by His Lil' Half-Blood Princess
Summary: There are some dreams that just can't come true. A Severus Snape fic. One-shot.


_So I have decided to, unfortunately, hurriedly end the whole summer one-shot thingy because I really want to get back to working on my other fics and to start new ones. So I'm going to quickly write the last three and then get back to normal. This is 18/20._

_So I have been doing my best to exclude the famous Lily Evans out of all my one-shots because I'm writing a Lily trilogy. But I got such a great idea and I had to write it! This story was inspired by the song 'Just A Dream' by Nelly. I suggest you listen to it while you read this, it totally helps. It does have some American slang and stuff, but I love it!_

_Dedicated to Gabriella and Ameil. I hope that one day, things work out between you two._

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He sat up in bed. Again. He exhaled heavily and wiped his forehead. He wished he could stop all of those dreams . . .

They weren't bad dreams. No, they were wonderful. They were beautiful and sweet. They were dreams he really did want to come true. They were pictures of perfection.

But that was what made them so horrible . . .

The pain wasn't there at first. He was in pure happiness during those dreams. But slowly, as they started to end, when he was beginning to awaken, he was hit with that realization in his chest. Those dreams would never, ever, ever come true. No matter how much he wanted them too.

Sometimes, he would wake up in tears. But that was rare for him now. They were common dreams. They gave temporary pleasure and eternal pain. He craved them, yet he dreaded them so much.

Sometimes, he thought that even the horror filled nightmares of his Death Eater days were better than these pieces of hell.

Or were they from heaven?

It confused him so! He didn't know whether to dwell on these dreams or to actually live. Living was much more painful, but living in a dream world would do no good. Dreams could only bring a certain amount of pleasure. And one day, he would wake up and be hit right in the chest.

He loved Lily to death. He really did. He always had. He always had wanted to ask her out. But he was too cowardly to do so. She wanted to be friends and asking her might ruin that friendship. Not doing so would ruin his chances of ever spending his life with her.

And every time he got the guts to ask her, he would suddenly feel nervous and cowardly again when he saw her.

And now look. She was gone. Not only to the world, but to him. She had been gone for such a long time.

He had loved her. And then he made a mistake. Something she would not forgive.

And then she ran away with Potter and they got married.

And it just shattered his heart. So he turned from light to dark.

And, of course, he ended up killing her.

Not directly of course. He would never do that. He would take his own life rather than take hers. He loved her too much. No. He gave his master that God damn prophecy that made him go after his precious Lily.

So he turned again. He did everything he could to protect her.

But there was no good in doing that. She died anyway.

He missed her so much.

Before she had died, before she had married, he had always wondered if she would one day forgive him. If one day they would become friends again. Maybe even more than friends. Even when she had married Potter, he wondered if she would ever want to be his friend again.

But she never did.

Did she die with a grudge? Did she secretly forgive him? Did she not have the courage to tell him? Was she unable to?

He would never know.

Severus leaned against his pillow again and sighed. He ached to stop these dreams. The Dreamless Sleep potions had no effect on him. He was immune to them, being that he had taken too many in the past. He wondered that if he didn't take one for a few years that maybe they would work for him again.

Those dreams were much too real. They were terrifyingly real.

But dreams were things that one wished for, but knew to be nearly impossible to have.

In his case, it was impossible.

He shut his eyes and tried to sleep.

Knowing they would never be . . .

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Aw_ww, Poor Sevvy Sev. He must be so depressed and sad and miserable. But that's why we love him! We just love to play around with the Half-Blood Prince! Reviews make me happy and smiley and happy!_


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